Ingrid Goesnar: If Resourcefulness Were a Person

Profile of the behind the scenes talent: executive assistant at Neuralink, food/cooking influencer, former chief of staff to a billionaire

Jeff Bezos once said that his criteria for choosing a wife was simple: a woman who could get him out of a third-world prison. When I imagine my own version of that scenario, sitting on a cold concrete floor somewhere in Cambodia and begging a guard to call someone who could save me, the person I picture is always the same. I picture myself whispering into the prison hole, “Please, please… let me call Ingrid Goesnar”. And I know exactly what will happen next. Ingrid, on the phone, would calm me with a few steady words, alert my family before I could even ask, and arrange a private helicopter flown by a friend she happened to meet decades earlier during a random Uber ride. She would still negotiate the price on that helicopter because she never leaves value on the table.

That mix of warmth and absolute competence is the essence of Ingrid Goesnar.

Today, she is the Executive Assistant to the president of Neuralink, though that job title barely hints at her range. If resourcefulness were a person, it would look a lot like her. She walks into every room with upbeat energy, smelling faintly of something delicious because she is usually baking focaccia, fermenting something experimental, or simmering a pot of panang curry for the construction crew. She rarely visits my home empty-handed. Our house is filled with gifts that quietly appear in corners and on countertops because generosity is her default setting.

If resourcefulness were a person, it would look a lot like her

Ingrid likes to describe herself as the “warm version of Ray Donovan,” a reference I had to look up. Ray Donovan is a fictional fixer for Hollywood’s elite, the man who can solve any problem no matter how impossible. She has been an entrepreneur, building a recipe-sharing app called Mavencook. She spent 8 years as a chief of staff for a billionaire. She is an Instagram influencer with 65k followers. She lives in a home with her mother, two younger brothers, three cats, and a steady rotation of people she cares for, despite having no children of her own. Her life is a constellation of relationships she nurtures with intention.

Her story begins in Indonesia. Her father was illiterate, yet he somehow built a successful printing business that financed his three children’s education in the United States. It is one of those improbable immigrant stories that sounds mythic until you meet Ingrid and realize the discipline and grit clearly run in the family. When she moved to Oklahoma for college, she discovered that she loved good Asian food but was terrible at cooking it. So she memorized an entire Indonesian cookbook and practiced until she could recreate the flavors of home. Soon she was running an informal supper club for all Indonesian students in Oklahoma. People would stop by for dinner and end up staying for hours. Her cousin ended up meeting his future spouse at that table.

After graduation, Ingrid lived a double life. She worked an accounting job from 9 to 5, then cooked from 6 in the evening until 2 in the morning. She did not need both jobs. She simply felt an urgency to learn to be a commercial chef. When her chef asked her to chop twenty pounds of onions, she finished without complaint, tears streaming down her face. Her dedication eventually made her into a sous chef at Wolfgang Puck in record time, strong enough to compete on Top Chef (top 50) and launch her own business. The pattern became clear. Ingrid approaches every new quest with humility, curiosity, and repeated practice until it becomes second nature. Then she moves on to the next thing that sparks her curiosity.

She worked an accounting job from 9 to 5, then cooked from 6 in the evening until 2 in the morning.

The chapter that shaped her most from my perspective was her time as a chief of staff of a billionaire. She had been introduced to the family first as an accountant, then was hired into a role she had never imagined for herself because the family saw her potential. The job demanded constant reinvention. One day she was managing the family office. Next she was trying to learn how to run an indoor play gym for kids. Then it was how to remodel a home with mold, how to ship containers of masks from China, and countless more. It was exhausting, and there were moments she wanted to walk away. When I asked why she stayed for eight years, her answer surprised me. “The children needed me,” she said. She talked about them with a tenderness that caught me off guard. She cooked for them, created stability for them, and built a world that protected them. Her eyes filled with tears as she described the feeling of being needed. “Humans need to feel needed,” she told me. “To be cared for. That matters more than money or titles.”

Her years in that role gave her a way of moving through life that I have rarely seen. She focuses on what matters and lets go of the noise. When I point out something she might improve, she listens, apologizes only if needed, and immediately adjusts. When a misunderstanding is mine, she explains her intention and moves forward without defensiveness. She does not dwell on mistakes. She simply goes to the next task.

Ingrid believes that life’s meaning comes from service. Watching her, I think she may have cracked a code that most people never figure out. She plays an invisible but essential role in making large, important things happen. And she does it without asking for recognition.

Ingrid believes that life’s meaning comes from service.

Last week, I noticed a small bonsai tree sitting on my porch. She shrugged when I asked about it. “An old man was selling them at the farmers market,” she said. “He wasn’t selling much. I had to buy it.” That is Ingrid: doing small acts of goodness when nobody is watching, grounded in instinct, empathy, and an unshakeable commitment to care.

If I ever end up in that Cambodian prison, I will not hope for luck or miracles. I will hope for Ingrid Goesnar.